troll brojohn don't fucking @ me

[broyonce]

idk do i need a pic

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[windheritance]

I could call you your name instead.

[broyonce]

Use my title. I earned it.

[windheritance]

Oh, I’m not going to do that. Hey, if I don’t do that does that mean you won’t fight me?

[broyonce]

No, it doesn't. I'll fight you.

[windheritance]

Awwww. Well, let’s fight then, buddy.

[broyonce]

Not your buddy either.

[ but yeah, he's gonna surge forward to fight. come on, executioner. ]

[windheritance]

Not YET, pal.

[ it’s never been at the top of anyone’s to do list to fight the executioner because he’s terrifying. his hammer-axe is like, too big for low bloods to lift. when that thing lands a hit, it’s game over. but he’s not as fast as the assassin, because nobody is that fast. still, he can tank a FEW hits without so much as slowing down. ]

[broyonce]

Take this seriously.

[ he grunts it through grit teeth--he is fast. he's the fastest. he can avoid the hammer-axe every time, but he's getting a little over-confident. confindent. conchfident? anyway.

the executioner is gonna have to tank some of those hits, in any case, but there's no way this much speed can last forever--surely he's built for quick and short matches. ]

[windheritance]

Nope!

[ he tanks a few hits before retreating, winding up... ]

Let’s do this again sometime, Pointy! Later!

[ and SLAMMING his hammer into the side of the cave. the wall crumbles like dry cake. the ceiling isn’t far behind. oh man he’s strong. this whole damn place is coming down. oh MAN. ]

[broyonce]

[ he's about to shout something in annoyance when the fucking cave starts crumbling from that slam and he has to take off instead before he's entirely crushed by fucking boulders.

he's livid.

he has to count this as a loss and he's furious. he's never actually lost before. he'll be back, wherever the executioner ends up.

but it'll be a bit. ]

[windheritance]

[ it's not, like, UNEXPECTED to have lost against the executioner. the thing that gives people pause is the fact that he both lost AND returned.

but because the executioner is the strongest piece the empress had on the board, she's not entirely unforgiving about the loss. it happens. he's a strong boy, but his attention span is short and going after him again should do it.

this time he's further away. he's actually made himself a little shelter in the woods, which is charming. it's close enough to dawn that he might need it in a couple of hours, too. ]

Oh, hi again, Spikey.

[broyonce]

[ part of the reason he takes so long is because he gets punished, naturally. which sucks.

he gets over it.

he's at his prime again when he stands before the executioner, head tilted aside.

he sneers. just a little. ]

That's not my name either, Executioner.

[windheritance]

That's not MY name. Like I said, I'm Johann!

[ when he cocks his head to the side the weight of his horns kind of makes his head dip then bounce. it's pretty cute. why's he got so much horns anyway. who designed this troll. ]

Are you here to fight me again? Or are you here to tell me you came to your senses and told the old lady exactly what part of her specialized aquatic anatomy she could stick that fork in?

[broyonce]

Yeah, I'm not calling you that. Use our titles.

[ hm. he is cute. that just kind of makes him mad actually. he frowns. ]

The former. Come at me.

[windheritance]

I won't! And to be honest, I'm kind of tired of fighting in general? So I'd rather not fight you if it's all the same to YOU.

Oh, wait! I know! You can go back and say you fought me and you won and you killed me.

[broyonce]

You know I can't do that. You know she'd know even if I did.

[windheritance]

I guess she'd want my head or something, huh.

[broyonce]

Well, that and. [ he clicks his tongue. ] I'm supposed to bring you back whole.

[windheritance]

I'm sorry to say that is not going to happen.

That was a lie, I'm not sorry.

[broyonce]

Didn't figure you would be. That's alright, I'm not sorry either.

Like I said, come at me, because I'm not leaving.

[windheritance]

That's fine! I think I can fit you in this shitty hive, so you don't technically have to leave.

[ he is not attacking. ]

[broyonce]

I'm not actually going to stay. Take this seriously, executioner.

[ it's fine. he'll attack instead. ]

[windheritance]

No. That's not my name.

[ WHUP okay. a giant hammer is not the best defensive weapon. the executioner is mostly on the defensive, but 'on the defensive' for him also includes such cool defensive moves as 'level chunks of forest' and 'swing with full intent of smashing bones into paste', so it's like, goodness. ]

[broyonce]

[ yeah, he's too fast to hit. always. he's good at this. too good. thing is, he's mostly, right now, keeping the executioner distracted so he can take advantage of a weak split-second, but he's not pulling any punches either. his sword is very sharp.

he can see a lake nearby, in front of him and behind his opponent. ]

[windheritance]

Jeez, you're speedy.

[ he doesn't seem too worried that he's fighting an enemy too fast to like... see, or to hit. he doesn't seem too worried that he's amassing a giant collection of shallow cuts, or that he's splattering purple all over the ground.

he absolutely hasn't noticed the lake, because why would he. ]