troll brojohn don't fucking @ me

[broyonce]

idk do i need a pic

Comments

[windheritance]

I won't! And to be honest, I'm kind of tired of fighting in general? So I'd rather not fight you if it's all the same to YOU.

Oh, wait! I know! You can go back and say you fought me and you won and you killed me.

[broyonce]

You know I can't do that. You know she'd know even if I did.

[windheritance]

I guess she'd want my head or something, huh.

[broyonce]

Well, that and. [ he clicks his tongue. ] I'm supposed to bring you back whole.

[windheritance]

I'm sorry to say that is not going to happen.

That was a lie, I'm not sorry.

[broyonce]

Didn't figure you would be. That's alright, I'm not sorry either.

Like I said, come at me, because I'm not leaving.

[windheritance]

That's fine! I think I can fit you in this shitty hive, so you don't technically have to leave.

[ he is not attacking. ]

[broyonce]

I'm not actually going to stay. Take this seriously, executioner.

[ it's fine. he'll attack instead. ]

[windheritance]

No. That's not my name.

[ WHUP okay. a giant hammer is not the best defensive weapon. the executioner is mostly on the defensive, but 'on the defensive' for him also includes such cool defensive moves as 'level chunks of forest' and 'swing with full intent of smashing bones into paste', so it's like, goodness. ]

[broyonce]

[ yeah, he's too fast to hit. always. he's good at this. too good. thing is, he's mostly, right now, keeping the executioner distracted so he can take advantage of a weak split-second, but he's not pulling any punches either. his sword is very sharp.

he can see a lake nearby, in front of him and behind his opponent. ]

[windheritance]

Jeez, you're speedy.

[ he doesn't seem too worried that he's fighting an enemy too fast to like... see, or to hit. he doesn't seem too worried that he's amassing a giant collection of shallow cuts, or that he's splattering purple all over the ground.

he absolutely hasn't noticed the lake, because why would he. ]

[broyonce]

[ yeah hey, as soon as they're close enough, he's going to surge forward, still too fucking fast, and curl a purple-splattered arm around the executioner's neck and drag him right into the fucking lake. he's too strong, too, strong enough to pull such a huge troll with him.

he won't be able to get firm footing if he's having to balance and float, so he can't swing the hammer, and the assassin can still use his blade-- ]

[windheritance]

Hey—

[ only he doesn't float. he tenses up in exactly the sort of panicked way you're not supposed to tense when dragged into a lake and he is just instantly dead weight. he DROPS the hammer in the shallows, in favor of scrabbling at the arm around his neck, but it's not every effective because of, you know, the blind panic.

it is, technically, a victory; from this position there's nothing stopping him from knocking the clown out and hauling him home over one shoulder, but.

it's kind of a weird way to win.

he can't SWIM? he can't even FLOAT?

how does someone get hand-raised by a fish and have that bad of a panic reaction to water anyway. ]

[broyonce]

[ why can't he--

--oh.

oh he hates that.

revulsion, a surprising amount, rises in him like bile, and instead of anything else he fucking

drags him out of the water and deposits him on the sand and then heads back out and grabs the hammer and drags that back too, dropping it to the sand.

he looks down at him a moment, frowns, and leaves before the executioner can do anything else.

this isn't how he wants to win. ]

[windheritance]

[ johann kind of just. lies in a heap on the sand for a little bit, bewildered and soggy. what even just happened. he was a goner and then the assassin just gave up?

is...

is the assassin.........

one of those types who only wants to win on SKILL and not CHEATING?

SURELY HE MUST BE?

he will contemplate this a lot over the next few days. his campsite doesn't move much, the next time the assassin catches up with him, except to get way way further away from the lake. it's better hidden this time, too. ]

[broyonce]

[ he gets punished again, but it's fine. he finds the executioner again and stands before his makeshift hive, eyes narrowed. it's close to dawn. too close, probably, but he has supplies to help him weather it.

finally, he speaks. ]

Johann.

[ oh. that's new. ]

[windheritance]

[ he INSTANTLY PERKS UP at the sound of his name. like his whole face lights up. he is not even mad about the whole ptsd trigger incident. ]

Fluffy!

[broyonce]

[ there's a silence. then: ]

Dierkk.

[ that's it. he spits it out like it's a curse, like he hates giving it out or using it, but there it is.

his name, not his title. ]

[windheritance]

...?

..!

Dierkk! Hi, Dierkk!

[ of COURSE he uses it twice immediately. he's SO excited. ]

[broyonce]

[ literally no one has ever sounded this happy to see him. he looks... startled. ]

... You know I'm still here to take you back, right?

[windheritance]

Yes, but I'm still not coming back, so it's more of a fun visit.

[broyonce]

Is it? Well, come on then.

[ he GRINS. ]

Let's have a go of it.

[windheritance]

Weeeeeeeeeell, if you insiiiiiiiiist.

[ he's too happy over the names thing to drag his feet over fighting. it's time to DUEL. ]

[broyonce]

I do.

[ there's something different now. he's less 'fighting to overcome and steal away' and more 'fighting to fucking FIGHT.' he's having a nice time. he may be flirting VERY hard also, inclusive of a pause to tip johann's chin toward him with the tip of his sword. it's very rivalry erotic or whatever. he's a bad man. anyway it's fine. ]

[windheritance]

[ johann, for his part, has never actually enjoyed fighting anyone, but this is actually kind of fun? the energy is different. it's not some helpless wide-eyed innocent cowering and waiting for the hammer to literally fall, it's not some brave but frightened rebel calling him a monster.

it's just two dudes, having a duel, nothing weird. he definitely doesn't have a doki at the sword under chin thing definitely not no.

anyway actually fighting an equal makes him not hold back. oh wow. he usually holds back. ]

But like I said, I don't intend on losing!